Posted by Cheri O'Neil on Wednesday, July 20, 2016 - 05:00
As someone surrounded by relatives who are accountants, I don’t buy the ridiculous stereotype that accounting humor is nonexistent. Nope. Not one bit.
Just because when you ask how many accountants it takes to change a light bulb, and I say, let me run a few numbers and I’ll get back to you, doesn’t mean I’m clueless. It takes one accountant to do the work and one to make sure it was done within budget.
The accounting professionals in my family are calm, composed and methodical, even with internal controls. They're never, ever unbalanced.
Ridiculous stereotypes aside, I’ve taken it upon myself to gather a few examples of accounting humor and share them here, stopping just short of putting them on spreadsheets.
If you’re a manager, try these jokes on your team, and if you’re a student or a job seeker, take a break to read them. If you can relate, go ahead and laugh out loud!
From the work-life balance files
1. How do you know when an accountant is on vacation?
He doesn’t wear a tie and comes in after 8 a.m.
2. An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. "Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night," he says. "Have you tried counting sheep?" asks the doctor. "That's the problem — I make a mistake and then spend six hours trying to find it."
3. What’s an accountant's favorite brand of cereal?
Read more about work-life balance on the Accountemps blog.
Chips off the old block
4. How do you know if your son is going to be a CPA?
When you read him the story of Cinderella and get to the part where the pumpkin turns into a golden carriage, he asks, “Is that ordinary income, or a capital gain?”
5. You might be an accountant if ...
… you refer to your child as Deduction 214.
6. An accountant, after reading a nursery rhyme to his child, says, "No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."
Take the money and run
7. What do you call a trial balance that doesn't balance?
A late night.
8. A young accountant fresh out of college is interviewed by the owner of a small business. “I need someone with an accounting degree,” says the man. “But mainly I’m looking for someone to do my worrying for me. I have lots of things to worry about, but I want someone else to worry about money matters.”
“OK,” says the accountant. “How much are you offering?”
“You can start at $75,000,” says the owner.
“That’s a great salary!” says the young accountant. “How can a business like yours afford to pay so much?”
“That,” says the man, “is your first worry.”
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Aside from the one-liners and puns that were shared with us, we found these and other jokes at Business Insider, the Alternate Accountant, Jokes 4 Us, Crush the CPA Exam and The Accountant’s (Bad) Joke Book.
Editor’s note: This post was originally published in 2015 but was updated in 2016 with some new jokes (and a smiley face).